One of my best friend’s is getting married this weekend out on the beach in California. It’s coming together to be her dream wedding and I couldn’t be happier for her and her future hubby! I am humbled and happy to have been asked to be their wedding officiant (yep, I do that – big smile), so I’ve been doing a lot of musing about weddings, marriage, and just relationships in general lately while working on my script.
In the last few years, I’ve had quite a few friends take the proverbial plunge – some for the better, some for the worse. Of all of the weddings I’ve been to/in/a part of, this is the first wedding where I have no misgivings about the couple. I have a feeling deep down that they’re going to make it a forever thing, and that makes me a very joyful officiant!
My personal thoughts on marriage have done a few 180s over the years. When I was a child I dreamed about the dress but not so much about being married or having babies. I have always just wanted to be free – free to travel, explore, be me! For some reason, a guy (or any partner) was never really a necessity in that dream. In college I met a guy I thought I could live with forever and so I revised my original intent to never take the plunge. Sadly that didn’t work out very well, so I went back to my happily-ever-single mentality, until recently.
I dare anyone to attend, participate in, and/or officiate a number of weddings over a number of years and not have some misgivings about a permanently unattached life. My grandma would very gladly insist that I’m finally at “that age” where the “clock” kicks in and I decide I want to get married and have babies all in short order. I’m not so sure. There’s a part of me that thinks that given enough time, I’ll get over this dreaming-of-prince-charming phase and happily move on with my other dreams. I’m not completely dismissing the idea of someday finding the one and getting married. Maybe that will happen and everything will fall into place. As I’ve discovered through the blogging network, there are all sorts of marriages that travel all over the world and work just fine. Maybe I’ll find one, maybe I won’t. My point is, I don’t want to be defined by my marital status (or lack thereof).
If asked what my dreams are, I would answer: to move to a country of my choosing with a job of my dreams – marriage & babies optional. I’ve had several of my newly married friends tell me that’s a bit selfish, which honestly hurts my feelings a little. I don’t judge their desire to “settle down” and make their own choices. I’m not telling them what they are doing is wrong or unnatural. In fact, I do everything I can to help them on their chosen path! I’m just not counting down the days to my 30th birthday lamenting the fact that my rings are all on the wrong finger and my babies both have fur. I’m happy to just let it be. I suspect that some of the criticism comes from fear over their own choices – maybe it feels like I’m judging them because I don’t have the same burning desire to join them in matrimony. I don’t know. But I do know that marriage does change people, and I’m running out of single travel buddies…
On a lighter note, all my personal feelings for my own life aside, I am truly excited for this weekend. It’ll be a fun filled couple of days with wonderful people. Even though I will likely be one of the few people at this wedding without a date, I’ll still be happy. I’m happy that I’m making my own decisions (even if others make me doubt myself occasionally) and that my friend has found her own prince charming. I am so happy for both of them that they will have each other to depend on through life and I absolutely can not wait to be an honorary auntie! I have the luxury of living vicariously and spoiling any children they may be blessed with beyond reason. And that makes me a very happy girl! To borrow a line from the Robertsons – happy, happy, happy (big smile)!
P.S. Yes, sometimes I even do wedding photography (for special friends). I’m a one-stop-wedding-shop if you will. I do everything from prenups to ceremonies/pictures to divorce. It’s my Plan B business (smile).