Last night as I was writing in my journal attempting to work through my thoughts on this, I wrote the following – “2014 was the year for my physical self, 2015 is for my spiritual self.” My “word” for 2014 was HOPE; my “word” for 2015 is WARRIOR. I was struck by a certain irony that these two words seemingly belong to the opposite years, but when the Universe spells it out for you, you don’t argue.
You see, I put a lot of thought into last year’s word, and I intend to carry it along into this year as well. I don’t ever want to lose that hope again. This year’s word, however, found me. As soon as I asked myself the question, there it was as if it had just been waiting for me to see it. Thinking back, I have been particularly drawn to warrior themes lately – both in the physical and mental/spiritual sense. Sometimes it just takes me awhile to catch on (smile).
So what does this word mean for my 2015? Fierceness, balance, fearlessness, and peace. I spent a great deal of last year translating the concept of hope into a more physical manifestation, and now I believe I understand what I want out of life – or at least I have a much better idea. Hope strengthens, fear kills. This is the year I want to move past all the fears that have been holding me back and show myself that I can do whatever I want to do. I had that warrior spirit years ago but it was tamped down into the dungeons by a series of unfortunate events. I kept it there because I thought it was easier to just go with the flow, procrastinating really, but I know now that living with half your self isn’t really living.
This year I want to get back to my “why not” and “f**k it I’m doing it” philosophies. I want to care enough to take a chance and understand that losing the battle isn’t losing the war. What’s the true worst-case-end-of-the-world scenario that can happen after all? Losing everything? Death? I believe there’s a freedom in both and at least I’ll have gone down fighting instead of willingly. I want to be brave enough to say no to things that I need to say no to and have the courage to face the guilt and hurt feelings that get projected on to me for doing so. I want to step forward and say yes to those opportunities that scare the s*** out of me because those are the ones that bring accomplishment. I want to find a better balance – and my peace.
So what’s my first order of business? Hitting publish on this post (smile).
What’s your word for 2015??