Weather: Unseasonably (and record-breakingly) warm
Days til winter: Unknown
As you can see the weather outlook is back. Apparently, I was a bit optimistic in my last update back in September about that whole “yay, it’s fall!” thing. What makes me really sad about the weather is the realization that winter days here are finite and every too-warm day means one less cooler day before summer strikes again. I’m slowly moving from lovingly annoyed to downright resentful of the desert these days.
I feel like I have to at least acknowledge the whole election mess. I’ve debated writing more about the whole deal but I feel like I’ve still got a lot of thoughts to work through first. Even then I’m not sure if I’ll share or not. I do know that it’s been really disheartening to see all the negativity post-election. Perhaps if I was in a better place personally I might be able to put some kind of positive spin on it all, but right now I just don’t have it in me. Truthfully, that statement pretty much sums up how I feel about life in general right this moment.
I’ve been pretty quiet the last couple months here on the blog and on other pages. I haven’t had much time to update my page or keep up with my usual reading – and I really, really miss it. I miss the interaction – every time I read a post I feel like I’m catching up with a friend and it’s been a little…lonely without that. I’m determined to re-prioritize as soon as possible, but in the meantime, just know my absence isn’t by choice.
The primary reason for the quiet is a perfect storm of maladies. My teammate at work was out the whole of October with pneumonia. It was actually pretty scary there for a week or so and I can’t tell you how relieved and grateful I am to have her back. The other issue has been my own personal health.
I’ve mentioned previously that I have fibromyalgia. I’m lucky in that my symptoms generally allow me to function fairly normally most of the time. But due to a number of things (aka “life”) I suffered a “flare” at the end of October that totally knocked me flat. Just as I was rebuilding from that I got the mother of all sinus infections that took me right back down again. And through it all I had to keep up with work while trying to keep myself and Oxford alive (he’s a very high maintenance cat). The last 6 weeks have been hard – and I am so tired.
Ah but today. Today is my birthday. So, I’ve been desperately trying to keep a smile on my face and to be grateful for all of the good things in my life. Even though I’m having a hard time with positivity right now, I can always find a reason to be grateful. Gratitude has become a bit of a life preserver for me on those days I can’t pull myself out of the dark. It pulls me toward hope and that’s the best first step towards getting my head back in a positive space. So there’s my silver-lining – guess I had one in me after all! (smile)
Yeah, so this wasn’t really the birthday post I’d been planning. That one was a much perkier ode to the last year, full of positivity about the future. But this one is a more truthful account of my life lately and so I’m going to leave it as written. I’m tired and I don’t have it in me to pretend today. Besides, to paraphrase the song, “it’s my birthday and I’ll [insert verb here] if I want to…”
* Photos were taken in northern AZ back in October.